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. before.JulyDad died at the end of July. I guess the best that you can say is thatthe cancer took him fast so he didn't suffer too long. It was prettytough on both Mom and me as we had been a close-knit family, but Mom andI supported each other as best as we knew how to.AugustMy Mom started getting really possessive after my father died. I'm anonly child and both she and Dad always paid a lot of attention to me.But since it's just the two of us now in the house, it seems like shehas nothing better to do than constantly check up on me. While it'sreally irritating, I put up with it because I know the strain that she'sunder. It's got to be tough to live with someone for almost thirty yearsand then have them die suddenly. I guess that I'm all that she's reallygot left right now. So when she bugs me about spending more time withher, or not going out as much at night with my friends, I put up withit. I'm just looking forward to when she develops some outside interestsand makes some new. I was walking quietly with Bob along the deck, I wanted to ask him hisadvice but did not know how to phrase it,"Joy, can we sit down?",we found a couple of deckchairs and he positioned them so that he waslooking directly at me, we both sat down, he then said,"come on Joy, spill the beans, what's on your mind", how the hellcould he know that, I thought to myself,"it's just, well", I paused so I could join some words together in myhead, "when I found Alice, she, she repulsed me, she actually made mefeel sick, I had worked so hard to find her and there she was, fuckingsome fat ugly man, without a care and stoned out of her head" I pausedagain to wipe away a tear "it took a slap from Terry to bring me backto my senses, I'm so ashamed of myself Bob", Bob was just looking atme, he leaned over and took both of my hands in his and said,"Joy, you wouldn't be human if you didn't feel those emotions towardsAlice, yes she did give up, but she would have been forciblyintroduced to drugs, she was.
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